Now That We Found Love: The First Year

One year ago, we said “I do.”

In this special anniversary episode of The Well Done Life, my husband, Harry, joins me for an honest conversation about what we’ve learned during our first year of marriage.

We each brought five questions for one another—and neither of us knew what the other was going to ask.

Together, we reflect on the lessons we’ve learned about ourselves, what it means to love each other well, the importance of continuing to grow individually, and the hopes we’re carrying into Year Two. We also share the songs that best capture our first year of marriage and why those choices mean so much to us.

This isn’t a conversation about having all the answers. It’s about choosing each other, growing together, and discovering that love isn’t just found—it’s nurtured every single day.

Whether you’re married, dating, healing, or still believing that love is possible, we hope our journey reminds you that every relationship has its own timing, its own rhythm, and its own beautiful story.

Thank you for celebrating this milestone with us.

Welcome to Now That We Found Love: The First Year.

Connect with me:

• Instagram: @thewelldonelife
• Threads: @thewelldonelife 
• Email: hello@thewelldonelife.com and thewelldonelife@gmail.com 

Connect with Harry: 

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/h.brown.7/ 
• Instagram/Threads: https://www.instagram.com/h_tamarbrown/
• Tik Tok: @htamarbrown
• Email: kappaman1393@gmail.com 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hello, I'm Pamela Davis Brown. Welcome to episode 254 of the Well Done Life Podcast. And hello. Welcome to the Well Done Life Podcast. I'm your host, Pamela Davis Brown. If you are new here, hey, how are you? Welcome. I hope that you will stay for a very long time. If you've been here before, you guys know the deal. I love you deep. Thank you so much for continuing to rock with me. I would not be here where I am without you. So I want to say thank you. And I'm truly, truly grateful. Before we get started, I know you guys are noticing that we have a guest, somebody different here. If you're watching, that's true. I gotta remember tee this up. Yes, this video will be available on YouTube. But for those of the you that are listening, I have a guest, my husband Harry, is joining us. So we are going to kind of do something a little bit different. Uh, same format of promise. This isn't anything different in regards to being empowerment and love, but it's some, it's a very special day for me. It in us, it is our one-year wedding anniversary. And so we thought, why not have a conversation? Um, just for us, but really something that we can share for you. And hopefully it will be a little bit of inspiration. Um, I really don't think either one of us are equipped to probably give anyone advice on marriage. I really don't. I know that sounds probably so crazy, but it's just because, you know, folks don't want to do probably what we had to do, but that's a whole nother conversation. Like I'm just gonna stop rambling because I'm rambling right now. But I am actually going to do something different. My husband has no idea that I'm gonna do it. But normally when I start this episode, I always like to be very foundational. And so I want to make sure we stick with the foundation. And so essentially, this podcast is a podcast for women. It's a space that I created because I believe in the power of women. I believe that we need places and spaces where we can be our most authentic self. And so for me, it's really important that I share my story. So hopefully be inspired to not make the same mistakes that I've made and also find resources in other people that I will share with you who can help you on the journey. And so along that line, I always like to make sure that we are doing everything with clarity and love. And so that is clarity. You guys know what we're here for, what this space is about. And then that leads right into love. And love is the root of everything that we're gonna do here. And so, one of the things that I like to do is make sure that I share prayers with you. I truly believe in the power of prayer, and so that's where we're gonna do something different. And I'm going to incorporate my husband and he can introduce himself a little bit to you. Um, but I also want to get ask him to give, you know, like a brief prayer to kind of introduce uh sin. And then we'll dive right into us having a conversation. Does that work?

SPEAKER_00 3:12

That works for me.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

Okay, let's go, Brown. You're up.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

All right, wow, awesome. Well, hello everybody. Uh, first of all, uh, it is an honor and a privilege to be here uh with my wife. Um, I adore her so much and I have such respect, you know, for what you do, you know, what she does here on her platform, and that, you know, although she expressed being a champion uh for women, which she is, she absolutely loves and adores the men too. Loves the men. We care about uh loving relationships, the both of us do. So I'm Harry Brown. I am uh her husband, and uh today, as she said earlier, it's our special day, it's our one-year anniversary. So uh so we thank God for that. And so um, for all of you that may be tuning in, I am not shorter than her, I'm just in a seat that's a little lower, and I think she did that on purpose so she can seem taller, but anyway, yeah. So again, uh I dig. But again, it's uh y'all uh pray for me. You know, I'm a little nervous because I respect what she does, you know, weekly, you know, on this platform. And and I want to make a great presentation, but I want to authentically be myself. And so uh with that being said, thank you all uh for you know rocking with me being here with her and baby, thank you. And I honor you and adore you, and it's it's a privilege to be here on your platform.

SPEAKER_07 4:42

You got a big time.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

So, with that being said, in my own special way, we'll start off with prayers. And so, you know, for those that are there, you know, Father, in Jesus' name, God, we thank you um for your grace, which is sufficient, your mercy that endures forever. God, we thank you for your blessing, we thank you for your covering. We thank you that you are not just about love, but you are the essence of love. And Father, we just thank you for all things and we bless you for looking on us. Uh, God, as we express ourselves on this podcast and we uh present to the people that which you have put in us uh for them and for one another. God, we ask that it just touches somebody, inspire somebody, let them know that love is still real. And you are the author, you are the finisher of our faith, you are the creator and you're the sustainer of life. And it is in you that we live, that we move, and that we have our being. So, Father, bless this podcast, have your will, do what you want, and we're careful to give your name glory, honor, and praise. Father, bless the people. As Pam and I bless you in our presentation in Jesus' name, amen.

SPEAKER_02 6:01

Amen. Thank you, honey. I appreciate that, and I appreciate you being so flexible because you know I told the gave him no prep. And so just kind of teeing this up. Um, like I said, this is the conversation. I do want to thank everyone for their support in last week's episode. I know I was kind of stoked theme when I put it out. I didn't like promote it, but it was Father's Day, and I really wanted to give time to honor my father as well as my husband. And so I didn't, but at that episode of My Journey My Way, I did see it get really good traction, which I really appreciate. But like I said, this week is a little different, and so we have always been the kind of couple that started our love story in such an unusual way. Like, yeah, like we are we met when we were 19 for the first time, and we couldn't get it together. Uh, we also met on the illustrious hills of Florida Agricultural Mechanical University.

SPEAKER_00 7:01

Greatest HBCU in the whole world.

SPEAKER_02 7:03

Absolutely. We are both alumni, and uh don't let it fool you we didn't get it together at that point because obviously I just got married, so for the first time, so that tells you something. Um, we couldn't get it together, and then we met again, I think like in our like late 20s, probably early.

SPEAKER_06 7:22

2002, yeah, like in 2001.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Yeah, and uh I gave him my number and he didn't call. I got it no, y'all, yeah. That was my fault.

SPEAKER_00 7:31

It's my fault. Y'all I fumbled the ball twice in school, and then as she just said, a second time when we ran into one another. So yeah, but but I did it, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

It wasn't really a fumble. I just feel like that's like God, like y'all aren't ready yet, and then we meet again uh 30 almost 30 plus years later, yeah, and via TikTok of all things, and via one of my closest friends who what loves to dance, Katie. And you guys have seen her and heard her Queen Lala on the podcast before. And so, long story short, short story long, he came back. As my husband likes to say, he only needed one mic.

SPEAKER_00 8:11

Yeah, man. Yeah. I was nause, y'all. Nas. All I need is one mic. I just needed one conversation, and if I may interject. So the funny thing is, obviously reconnecting 30 years later, you know, essentially you're this you're still the same person with respect to, you know, maybe your personality and you know, your values and and who you are and expressing yourself. But you're talking about being in your 50s from when you were 19. Obviously, when you live life, even though you're essentially the same person, you change still in so many ways. And so I didn't necessarily take for granted that I just had it like that when I reconnected, but boy, the story that I heard. So essentially, I reached out to our mutual friend who could never figure out why we couldn't get it together and who always wanted us to be together when we were in school. So I saw her on a video. Oh, I saw her on a video, and uh, so I reached out, and so of course, her initial reaction was like, mm-mm, nope, he couldn't talk to me in school. We met again, and he never called me. No, no, no. He had his chance, and so through much prompting of our mutual friend, she gave me a shot, and all I needed was one conversation, y'all. And look at where we are celebrating our one-year anniversary.

SPEAKER_02 9:42

So I'm gonna let you have that because it's our anniversary, but I'm gonna say for the ladies, because I know y'all will feel me with this. Many of you have dealt with emotionally unavailable men. I was one earlier on in my life, he was an emotionally unavailable man, and I was already trying to figure out a situation with another one. So it's like why would why would I add in? You know what I'm saying? We don't work. Why would I add in another one? So, for all the ladies, because I know you guys can feel me, and I like to keep it honest and true. Yeah, I kind of gave him a little bit of a hard time. And when I was doing this, this is one of the reasons why. Uh, Kappa Alpha Sai was one of the reasons why I'll be right back, y'all. We didn't nope, nope, nope, nope, come on back, but not really, it was but but really, and so for those ladies who also, because I'm sure there's plenty of women out there have that have dealt with men who are pledging fraternities and you know, things change. But ladies, there is hope, obviously, as you can see. See, we found back our love again, and yes, we are here. So, with that, that's a salot, isn't it? That's a salad. Um, and like he said, we've lived a lot of life over these past 30 plus years, and we are very different people, but very similar. But one of the things that I think has always been the foundation of our relationship, even back then, um, we always talk to each other. We always because I would look for you in in class so I could talk to him. That was my thing. I love to talk to him, and so with our love, because yes, outside the TikTok, we're also long distance newlyweds, which you guys know. And so it is definitely different building a relationship, building a life, building a marriage when you're not in the same house. And so we have a lot of conversation.

SPEAKER_00 11:30

Thank God for face to amen.

SPEAKER_02 11:31

Conversation and questions, like we are the ones, and I don't know if this will maybe encourage someone in a relationship, but we are those people who play, we're not uh we're more than we're not really friends, or we're more than friends, some of those other like intimacy games and cards. Like we've always really made space in our relationship to get to know each other.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

Yeah, we we really, we really try, you know, so hard to because again, um, you know, being long distance newlyweds and long distance newlyweds in your 50s, where we've really, for the most part, made a lot of our sacrifices in our 20s and our 30s and our 40s. And so when you get to your 50s, there's a certain way that you want to live your life on purpose. And so the last thing that you will want in your latter years is to have a long-distance marriage, right? That's something maybe that you kind of do early on until you guys get financially settled, but you know, it's not for the faint at heart. So we definitely do everything we can um to stay engaged. And I'm telling y'all from the bottom of my heart, I thank God for this woman. I look up to her so much. She has taught me so much, you know, about life. You know what I'm saying? And about grabbing it, you know, by the horns and going for it. And so we do like intentional things like um we have favorite TV shows. So we'll watch an episode, you know, of a TV series together. Uh, we'll compare notes. Um, you know, again, as she mentioned, we play those card games that really have you engaged and asking great questions. And you don't even realize it. You think that you're playing a game, but it's causing you to really engage with one another, check in with one another, check each other's temperature, and really, you know, check each other's values to make sure that, you know, what she's presenting to me and what I'm presenting to her is authentic. And um, it's just it's again, it's not for the faint at heart, but I thank God that we are committed to the engagement. Um, she is second to God and God alone. This is the first voice I want to hear in the morning, and uh the last voice I want to hear uh before I go to bed. So I didn't mean to digress.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

No, you're not digressing, and I mean it's a really good tea because that's why we decided that we would sit down and have this conversation. Of course, we definitely hope that, or I know I do, I hope that you, you know, take something away that may inspire you in your love or in your life on your journey. I am a first-time wife, so this is new for me in a lot of different ways. And I hope that you understand though. Part of this is I wanted us to have something for us because it's I always feel like every year we can always go back and we can look at how far we've grown, how far we have deepened our relationship, you know, things that we may overcome because we don't know what this journey is going to lead. I don't think anyone does. So I think having something on like this for us, as well as, like I said, doing something different and sharing it with you. We hope that you enjoy it. But I kind of wanted to tee it up because this really is a conversation. I we literally set the ground rules of we each came up with five questions.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

When we set the ground rules, that really means I just I just do what she says.

SPEAKER_02 15:10

You know what? See, but I'm gonna go ahead and let it because y'all gonna think I'm running him, but no, no, no, no. No, no, no. I'm this one right here. He was excited about being on the pod and he was nervous because he's like, you know, I don't know how the brand and stuff goes. And I said, well, let's try this out. And I don't really talk a lot about our marriage. I know that I think a lot of other influencers and everybody else is very comfortable sometimes talking about things and certainly not. I have always been of the the notion, I'll be honest, to protect what I love. And and so to me, I was like, if we're gonna talk about our marriage, the only time we're gonna talk about our marriage is if the both of us are involved in the conversation.

SPEAKER_00 15:49

You know what it is, y'all? It it it I honor and respect her um so much. You know, she is so good, y'all, at what she does uh as far as her social media, um, as well as you all are familiar with her event a couple of years ago, the reset experience. Oh talk about phenomenal. And as far as you know, speaking with you all on a weekly basis on the well done life. And although I'm not a stranger to, you know, going live on social media, um, you know, I am a licensed ordained minister. Yes, and so I'm not a stranger to speaking in front of people. I'm I'm I'm comfortable. Now, usually, you know, people say that I I'm a great speaker, but every time y'all, like the first two minutes is like throw up city for me. It's like once I get past the first two minutes, I'm good. But I digress. But the point I'm trying to make is the nervousness comes from, although I've done presentations, uh, and I'm really pretty good at it, you know, plenty of times. Uh, it's just I have so much respect for what she does on a platform that I never want to uh, you know, lower, you know, the bar or lower the brand. I always want, if you will, to be a great representation of my wife. And uh, although I'm good at what I do, I don't take for granted that she is great at what she does. And so again, I can't say enough, baby, it's an honor for me to be here with you.

SPEAKER_02 17:17

Well, well, thank you guys. And I know for those of you watching, you're like, what is she doing? I'm like literally like this is I want to make sure the sound is right. I want to make sure everything is together. It's not anybody else, it's just me.

SPEAKER_06 17:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

So don't worry about that. Because I just want him to feel comfortable.

SPEAKER_06 17:33

I do, I do.

SPEAKER_02 17:33

It literally is just a conversation. And so, like I was saying, we set out five rules. Five the ground rules are we each come up with five questions that we would want to ask each other about our year and going into year two. And so, this video, like I said, is hopefully something that will inspire you and encourage you, but it's something for us to document where we are on the journey because we truly believe in being intentional with each other. And so, like I said earlier, I wouldn't have conversations about, I don't really plan on having conversations about my marriage without having my husband involved because it's a marriage, it's a two-party conversation, it's a two-party thing. So it needs to be a two-party conversation. And so um hopefully you guys will enjoy it. So we're gonna dive in. Like I said, uh, five questions. And you'll you I'm let you're the guest, so I'm gonna let you ask the first question. I have not seen any of these questions, neither have I. But one thing I want to make sure we let the ground rules go, which I think you will understand, is whatever questions you ask, always know that this is a safe space. I'm not gonna take offense. I'm never gonna talk to you in a way that's disrespectful. We are best friends, and we always have an agreement with each other. And no matter what, we leave room in our relationship for us to be our best version of ourselves, and we married each other for who we are right now and who we're becoming. Amen. So we don't, I don't raise my own. You might you might be my tight, you might my man. So let's just let's just have a good time. Let's go. Okay. So okay, I'm ready.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

I'm I'm on deck.

SPEAKER_02 19:13

You're on deck. I'm on deck.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

All right, this is kind of sweetheart. This is and I can't see a thing. Okay, all right, all right, all right. This is kind of like a just kind of like thinking back, like a looking back type of question. So and um I want to kind of create a little particular question. So you know, so thinking back at our wedding day a year ago, okay. What is one small specific moment or moments that stands out to you now that we are a year in? And how does it feel looking back at that moment today?

SPEAKER_02 19:58

Okay. One of the first things that came to my mind is when we got married, we eloped. Yes, and uh we went to the courthouse and got married, and my younger sister, Tracy, came with us and we picked her up because we were staying at an Airbnb, and so we could have some, you know, a long time. And then I stopped by my house, picked up my sister, and then we drove to the courthouse so we could get married. And on the way to there, we did the sing-along to the Muppets.

SPEAKER_01 20:30

Somebody's getting married, somebody's getting married, of course.

SPEAKER_00 20:36

I know if you somebody get the flowers, somebody get the cake, somebody get the mm-mm.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

Yes, we sang that on the way to the courthouse, and that moment gave me so much peace because like my sister is I I I put my heart into chambers, and I have lots of different rooms in my chambers, but my husband is the center of it, and then my mom and my sister are the other halves, and it's like walking outside, and obviously I have my friends and loved ones inside of those chambers too. And so having her with me that day was so important because I my mom couldn't go because of her her physical limitations, and she didn't want to slow anyone down or make us uncomfortable or make herself uncomfortable. But having Tracy there and having you and then Katie and Steve, I know it was a small tight circle, but that moment meant everything. Like it just sealed the deal for me that I knew everything was gonna be okay. Like I still knew it was gonna be all right, but I was just like that, just totally shook the nerves off for me. I totally shook the nerves off for me. So, yeah, that I know that probably is not the moment everybody thinks that you're gonna be good. But it's just like that was the first moment that came to my mind. So yeah. Nice, yeah, nice. That was the best. That was the best. So every time I hear that song, I think about our wedding day. Um I have a question for you.

SPEAKER_06 22:07

Okay, here we go.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

Uh what's the biggest lesson you learned about yourself in this year of being married?

SPEAKER_00 22:15

That's pretty good. Um the biggest lesson I think that I learned about myself is that there's so many um with this experience, but I guess one that comes to mind is that I am strong, uh, I am strength, I am a leader, I am truly, as you say on your podcast, a lover of love. Um just a lover of a comeback story. And what I've learned about myself is when you talk about on your platform the power of love, I truly honestly believe that I epitomize God's love and the manifestation of his love. Because if you all knew my story, there is no business. Uh I have no business being in this position with some of the things that I've gone through as far as heartache, heartbreak, as far as challenges, you know, in that area. Um, there are so many things, y'all, that could have left me angry, could have left me bitter, could have left me unhealed, could have left me wounded. And what I learned about myself is that no matter what, you know, the power of love always reigns supreme. I will never give up on love. Even when I thought it wasn't for me. And try not to get emotional, y'all. But um, now that I have you and I've reconnected with you and I've found you again, I know that truly I've told you this: that you are God's instrument, and how your love has healed me. And I believe as far as what I've learned about myself, is that I epitomize one of your mantras with your um well done like podcast platform and does that. I am a sucker for love. I know it through and through. Yeah, and I love hard, I love fast, I love strong, and it's okay because in a masculine macho fraternity world, if you will, you know, you can be considered, you know, a softy and be teased or whatnot, but God has given me y'all such a, if you will, um such a meekness and a humbleness with love that you know, I walk in the confidence of my humility and my desire and my respect for God's love, for the agape friendship love and the eros love, which is the love between a man and a woman. And that one thing that I've learned about myself truly in this experience with you, and always, no matter what, no matter how depressed or disappointed or hurt or wounded that I have been in relationships or situations before Pamela, I never gave up on love because I never gave up on God, and that's what I learned about myself. Like I'm not perfect, I have not arrived, y'all, by any stretch of the means, but I epitomize God's love and I spread it wherever I go, and no matter what, on my worst day, I still have the power to love. That's what I learned about myself.

SPEAKER_02 26:23

I love that because I know I kind of went off.

SPEAKER_00 26:25

No, it's not about that.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

This is our space, this is our time. I I love that you said that because, you know, like you mentioned from then, I think that is challenging to be that vulnerable and be that open. And if you are able to have that type of space with me, then I feel like I'm doing my job as your wife. Because, like I told you, I always want you to choose you first. Yes. I'm not playing about that. I'm not playing because I need you to choose you first. Because if you choose you first, if you believe in you first, if you love you first, you can love me. Yes, because then you feel confident, you feel strong, you can go out here and face all the world, tackle all the dragons because you know that when you come home, you are replenished and supported and refueled. And so that makes me feel good to know that that in our first year that that's what you got. I can't wait to see what God brings forth on our channel.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

So much more, but that's just that's what came. No, you know, that means the world's first.

SPEAKER_02 27:22

Yeah, I love you, kid.

SPEAKER_00 27:23

I love you more.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

Yeah, so it's your turn.

SPEAKER_00 27:26

Me turn, me turn, me turn, me turn, my turn. Uh so this is kind of like a growth and partnership kind of question.

SPEAKER_06 27:39

Cool.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

Because you know how marriage can change the dynamic. Um, and so, you know, over reconnecting with each other, you know, in the fall of 23, but with respect specifically to us, yeah, being married for the last year, you know, we you and I have built a lot of rhythm. We've had to work very hard with respect to our individual daily lives and with one another, especially with the long distance. So over this past year, as we celebrate our one-year anniversary today, in what ways do you feel that we've grown the most as a team? Oh what we, you know, since saying I do to each other?

SPEAKER_02 28:25

I think we've grown most as a team, as it relates to, I'll be honest, I I think as it relates to how we are moving when it goes towards health, when it goes toward finances. Uh as well, and and when I say health and finances, I'm gonna stop there because I think that those are the two key. When it goes to health, I think we're learning.

SPEAKER_06 28:48

Those are two components of uh the research.

SPEAKER_02 28:51

Yes, very true. Um, for health, I think one, obviously, in the beginning of our marriage, I and and I know this.

SPEAKER_06 29:00

Oh my, I love share.

SPEAKER_02 29:01

Um it it was it was challenging for Harry health-wise. Like, I want to say what, like a week after we got married, maybe two weeks after we got married, you had a cardiac. Yeah, you had a week after you got married. He had a cardiac, yeah. He had a cardiac ablation um on his heart.

SPEAKER_00 29:19

And for those of you who don't know what that is, a cardiac ablation is a procedure that one has. Um, some of you medical professionals out there are familiar with something called uh AFib, A F I B, and something else called S V T, which is super ventricular, something that I can't remember. Right. But anyway, uh it it's it's it causes an irregular heartbeat that although managed um and you can avoid the danger of heart attack, the irregular rhythm, if you will, can be so uncomfortable. And um I've had times where I've had to go to the emergency room proactively just to make sure, you know, that uh I'm okay and you know, I take certain medicine for it, you know, as well. And thank God that it is under control and I've had to change a lot of stuff nutritionally, and you know, I'm and we'll get to health stuff as far as working out and you know, thank God for this workout warrior who's been a major influence, you know, in my in my gym, you know, and exercise that portion. But um a cardiac ablation is a procedure. Here's the best way I can explain it. Okay. Think if you're on an airplane, right? And you're flying on the airplane, and an airplane has four engines. Let's say, God forbid, they have an engine failure with one of the engines. Um all they have to do is shut off, or or let's say, God forbid, if the engine catches fire. All they have to do is shut off that engine, and the other three engines are powerful enough to fly that plane to its destination. Same thing with me. I, you know, the heart has four chambers and they beat in rhythm. I have three that do that. And there was a fourth chamber that does this, that flutters, and that's where the discomfort comes from. So a cardiac ablation is kind of when you go in and kind of shut off that one chamber and reroute things, and so that you can have a normal sinus rhythm beat. So that's that's kind of what the procedure is, just to give give you guys, you know.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

And and so, like that was like right after our wedding. Like literally, um, because unfortunately, my godmother had passed a few weeks before we got married. And like, so I was trying, I was going from her celebration of life down in Fort Lauderdale to the next day just flying instantly to be with him because he was having surgery. And it's funny because I think about it, that was actually the first time that someone had called me Mrs. Brown in a business kind of way. And child I'm sitting in the waiting room, like, who she talking to? Like, oh, that's the oh, that's right, Lord. I forgot. I forgot that I was a newlywed, but like literally, I died. I was like, I changed my name already. I was like, what? And so it literally was like we got married and all the joy and happiness, but at the same time we started dealing with that, and then my husband has had other health challenges, so it has been, you know, it got real, it got real super fast, it did, and we had to lock in. But I have to admit, I have seen us grow because now we have gone from so many challenges. Like he was saying, he was going to the emergency room quite often. And between that and blood pressure, there's it was a lot going on and a lot of emotional stress as well. But we I think have gotten better looking back at it right now to where we where where we were, to where we are now. I definitely see the growth. I think I had to learn to let you have your journey. I can support you and love you, but I can't own it. I can coach through it, I can support you through it. But I think as a new wife, because I'm so used to being in a caregiving role, so used to being in that, I instantly wanted to make his journey my own. And I was like, I can't do that.

SPEAKER_00 33:24

But can I can I say something, um, no sweetheart? And and to tell you guys, uh I don't remember the number, but I'll tell you when things started to shift for me. Um there was an episode that you did on the podcast. I don't know if it was the title, but it was the impetus of the pod, uh, where you've got to call yourself out on your own BS. So, and it and the thing is, you want to be gentle with yourself. You you you don't you don't want to be so hard on yourself because really in this day and age, in this crazy world, we've got to learn to give ourselves a break, but still, we gotta own our stuff. Uh, and I'm accountability and a responsibility type of person. I preach it, I teach it, I talk about it, you know, all the time. And if I'm gonna do that, I need to be the first partaker of that. And so that episode blessed me because it's like a light switch went off that I have to call myself out on my BS with respect to what I have done over the years that has contributed to the health challenges. And once I was able to do that, once I was able to drop my pride, okay, I need to be in alignment with my primary, my cardiologist. You know, now I have a nutrition specialist and and I'm I'm attacking that area. Um, you know, I have a urologist now, um, you know, and I have a gastroenterologist, and the whole team is on one accord. And whenever they put their notes in the system, all of the other doctors see it. And so, and in addition to that, I do therapy regularly every Wednesday, unless I'm on vacation or spending time with this beauty, she knows I don't care what's going on. I do not miss therapy, whether I'm having a good week or a bad week. So a combination of my physical doctors with my therapist that I go to weekly, um my orthodoctor as well, um allowing that and understanding that I need help and um I need encouragement, I need motivation. Um, that I get from God, that I get within myself, and that I get from her. But what you need with the motivation is consistency.

SPEAKER_06 35:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:57

And the team gives me consistency. So I just wanted to say that, y'all.

SPEAKER_02 36:00

So I'm sorry I interjected on your butt face because that's a part of the health, like you were saying, the mental health and taking it very seriously and understanding, like I said, I can't make his journey my own, but I can be supportive, I can give guidance, I can give support as he is willing to let me. And I think we become more of a unit about it. My health journey is different. You guys know I've been talking about being on a health journey for quite a bit, and so now it's him be like you said, being consistent with it, and we find ways to talk through it and mesh while respecting each other's space. Like, I don't need him to lift at the level that I lift. He doesn't need me to be right back with him, like we're encouraging each other, and I love that. And I think also from a financial place, like we are literally in a long-distance relationship in 2026, and no offense, like none of us are crazy, it's expensive in these streets. And so we work really hard at making sure that you know we're we're trying to do things together and manage expenses. We both we have two households, child. We are trying to maintain and other family obligations. So it's, I think we're getting better and more aligned with it, more structure. I think for newlyweds, and definitely probably correct me if I'm wrong, it's really hard to go into a marriage with a completely mapped-out financial plan of how you're gonna get this thing done. Like it, I don't care what anybody says, it doesn't, it doesn't automatically pivot, you gotta shift, you have to adjust.

SPEAKER_00 37:37

But one thing that I would encourage is, you know, Rome wasn't built in the day, you know, like Pam said. And so, but even though you do your best, when you go into it, you won't really know how it's gonna be unless until you get in the trenches. Yeah, however, you do need to have that conversation before getting married, y'all, about okay, what's your debt look like, or what's what's this looking like? You know, what are you doing? You know, what's what's what's what's your salary? How are you applying things? And um, you got to have that conversation. How do we want to do our accounts? Do we want to have our savings together? Do we want to keep our individual accounts? Do we want to and and and it's okay to pivot? It's okay to shift, it's okay to adjust. Yeah, so it's different for every couple, but you got to have that financial conversation. Couples out there that are serious and want to get married, you gotta know what's going on in each other's finances.

SPEAKER_02 38:29

Absolutely. And you can't be afraid to, like Harry said, pivot as well as understanding.

SPEAKER_00 38:33

I gave her my spreadsheet. She knows what's going on.

SPEAKER_02 38:35

Yeah, and I'm gonna have him at some point and do a spreadsheet for me. I do a lot of like auto bill pay because it just helps me because I'm not I'm a little forgetful sometimes. Um, so it helps keep me aligned, but I know that there's strengths to do where he has that he can make me better, and there are things that I can recommend to him that can make him better, and I think ultimately that's what I'm trying to say. Thank you. That you know how we've gotten more aligned in that area is because we have learned how to rely on each other's strengths better, and I think that has made us a better team.

SPEAKER_00 39:11

Amen to that. All day.

SPEAKER_02 39:12

That's what I do. I think that's made us a better team. Thank you for answering that question. You're welcome. It's my pleasure. Okay, so this is a different one.

SPEAKER_00 39:20

We're on number two.

SPEAKER_02 39:20

We're number two.

SPEAKER_00 39:21

We're number two.

SPEAKER_02 39:22

Um, my yes, what's one way I can love you better in year two?

SPEAKER_00 39:27

Ooh.

unknown 39:28

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 39:30

I don't want to be cliche, y'all. This woman loves my socks on. So how can she love me better? Oh my goodness gracious. Um, this is a challenging question because I express to you how you are the love of my life. I know, not because it sounds good and and we're in present time. Um, but you all, I didn't know, even though I've said all of that beautiful stuff earlier about being a champion for love and you know, sucker for love, and I absolutely am. And in the in the in the midst of adversity or brokenheartedness, I still can champion all of that's wonderful, but I truly did not realize, besides God's love, I didn't realize what love was. I didn't know what love was until Pamela. Um try not to get emotional.

SPEAKER_01 40:40

Not to care.

SPEAKER_00 40:41

So as far as I I struggle with this, I'm being honest, as far as how can you love me better, you love me. You you are an anointed vessel that God has handpicked for me. I didn't know it back then in school. I didn't know it the second time that we bumped into each other. But you know, I know that I know that I know in my heart of hearts that you are God's instrument of love. He has healed me through you, he has blessed me through you. Uh you are home, you are safety. You don't just communicate. You're not just a good communicator, but you communicate with the goal of getting understanding. And the Bible says that in all thy getting, get an understanding. It doesn't matter how much you know or how much you talk, you've got to have understanding, you've got to have alignment, even in disagreement. And you honor me, you respect me. How many times do I tell you you make me feel like a king? Yes, um, in every way, uh physically, emotionally, spiritually, financially, the way you doed on me. Um, how can you love me better? Moving forward, um literally, I I don't want to bow out with something cliche, but literally just continuing to do what you do. You are amazing. You have a heart platinum. There is nobody on this planet like you on your worst day. Nobody could be two B and you.

SPEAKER_06 42:36

Thank you for you.

SPEAKER_00 42:37

You are extremely awesome. The one thing, if I have to say something, um just you can love me better by not, and I and I know that it's habit, and I know you're type A, and I know you go, you go get it. When you get to football, when you get to football, you run in, you run in for the end zone. Um, but you can love me better if I have to say something by um not either thinking you have to protect me or not, you know, I don't want you to feel you gotta take everything on.

SPEAKER_06 43:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 43:22

Um you can love me better by letting me help you more in any whatever, whatever that means. If it means me just shutting up and you needing to talk, and I and I don't want to um give any false narratives that you don't talk to me and express how you're feeling, you know, and what you're dealing with, but you know, you're so go-gettedness, your go-gettedness is so on 10 that you have a tendency to shoulder everything. And by the time that you finally talk to me, you know, you're exhausted or you're emotionally sick. So you can love me better by helping me to love you better with the information or the assistance or the support that you need from me.

SPEAKER_02 44:11

I appreciate that. And that is that is something that I know I need to work on. Um you and I, he and I have talked about it a lot just because I'm gonna be honest, uh, I'm an older oldest daughter. And as an oldest daughter, uh and a caregiver and all those things, it's just the nature of the beast. I hate to say it to try to take it on because I just need to push through. I need to keep going all the time. And I have to admit that is one thing in this marriage that I am so grateful for that you give me space to be soft. I I don't have that all the time, or I have not had that all the time. I'm just being honest. And so I'm used to always having to make a way for me or my mother or my sister because I got to get it done. You know, it is just how it is. And I know I'm not the only one out here. I know that there are tons of women, especially black women. We are constantly put in those positions where we have to be strong. And it's so hard letting someone love us enough to be soft and safe. And I want that. I talk about soft life sometimes, or I have had conversations about it, and I do want someone to be there, and he is there for me. So let me just back that up. Like my husband has come through for me in ways like no one else, and created space where I can be the most vulnerable version of myself and loved and supported my family, where I don't have to feel stressed, like, heck, we're doing this uh staycation here instead of our another other planned anniversary trip, because he's trying to create space where I can feel comfort, comfort leaving my mother and my sister. So he's very considerate, like that. It's just me, it's just something that I was raised in. Um, and I've told him about like growing up. You know, my father, my mother were wonderful parents, but my father did raise my sister and I to be very independent, to rely on ourselves so that no one can ever hold anything over our head. And so learning to navigate through that in this marriage is something that I am working on, and I am very grateful for having a partner who is understanding of that. So that is something that I take with full understanding, and I definitely look forward to getting softer with you.

SPEAKER_00 46:33

And I thank you for that, sweetheart. One thing that I do want to say, y'all, um, you know, it it's that was just an honest answer to your question. But in no way it was a criticism because y'all, and what I mean by that is everything that she just described as far as how she was reared, raised, and the challenges that she faced with the passing of her father and now having to care, you know, for her mother and her sister. And just, you know, she's the head of her household here in Florida.

SPEAKER_05 47:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:06

And it is the most amazing and impressive thing that I've ever seen. And let me tell, let me tell some of you jokers out there that, you know, oh, she, you know, women of this, women of that, and masculine this and masculine that. Let me let me let me talk to you, red pill jokers. Listen, you have no idea what some women have to contend with, whether it's mistakes that they made, bad decisions that they made, or, you know, just family background and dynamic. Just like as men, you know, women don't know what we may have contended with. And so Pam and I, you know, we tease a lot. You know, I like to tease her when I say down with the patriarch.

SPEAKER_06 47:51

Oh god, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:51

Because she's a champion for women, I'm a champion for men. And sometimes we have these debates, but they're they're really out of fun. But the impetus of what we share, and we hope that we relate to you all, not just in this pod, and hopefully big the girl have me on future pods, but both of us are champions for the marriage and for the relationship. So, you guys out there, um take a survey of your landscape before you go judging how somebody is and then making the determination and then hopping on a podcast and saying weird stuff just to get clicks and likes. Um, I knew going in, um, Pam was a lot different when she was in school. She was a little more timid, a little more shy, a little more quiet. Obviously, in 30-something years, she's had to evolve based on life's circumstances, but yet she's never lost the essence of you've never lost the essence, baby, of your sweet nature, of who you are, who you were back then. It's who you always are. But coming into this, you know, I had eyes wide open, understanding and surveyed the landscape that you presented to me. And I knew what I was getting into. And so I knew and I asked God to help me and to lead me and guide me and be the husband, be the man that you need me to be, to be the leader that you need me to be. And as you know, my mantra is you know, I'm not perfect, but I do my best to line up with the word of God. And if you're gonna be a leader, you have to serve in love. Nobody dominates, nobody has it their way all the time. But to the men out there that want to beat your chest and say, I'm the man, I'm the head, I'm the lead according to the Bible, well, really read your Bible and understand how God allows us to be the leader if we're one in alignment with Him and if we serve in love. And that is the fastest way to get a woman to submit to you, your wife to submit to you. Because first of all, submission, you know, if we break that up, oh God, I'm going into Bible study lesson. If we if we talk about submission, sub means under, and mission is what's the path forward, as my wife likes to say. So, man, when you're asking a woman to submit, you're asking her to come under your mission. So, what is it that you are presenting to her that would put her in a place where I can rock with this guy? And see, we don't want to have that conversation as men. We just want to say, oh, submit, submit, submit. Yeah, but if you're not serving in love and and and serving to lead in that manner, you're off face. I'm sorry, I just went into Bible study.

SPEAKER_02 50:44

No, okay, I know he's super passionate about that. And I mean, and just kind of like as a as a follow-up with that, because I know everyone's like, but to submit this, you submit. I I think we have submission in our our marriage, but it's different in the sense that he understands I bring my own individual strength to and I I I can't stop being who I am. Like I'm 53 years old. Do you really think I'm gonna stop being strong? I need her to fly.

SPEAKER_00 51:13

I need her to be who she is, I need her to be who she is.

SPEAKER_02 51:16

And so he accepts that aspect of me. However, it turns me on.

SPEAKER_00 51:20

I love it actually.

SPEAKER_02 51:20

Well, I appreciate that. You know, you know, I'm turned on too.

SPEAKER_00 51:24

All right, all right.

SPEAKER_02 51:26

So thank you, excuse us. Um, but at the same time, I also understand that there's a level of respect and that always has to be there. And so it's like, you know, I think people need to understand that there is submission, but there's submission with respect. There's always respect. Respect is just the minimum. Like, I'm not gonna submit to you like he said it without having a plan. I I have a full actualized life. Like I do, I have a full actualized life, and now in my 50s, I've decided, hey, I'm gonna add one more person to the party. Cool, but what are you bringing to the table just like what I'm bringing to the table? And when I say that, we work as a team. Like, I'm not looking for my husband to bear all the financial responsibilities of my life and his life. Like that doesn't work. I wasn't raised that way. I was raised that two checks are always better than one. Everybody's coming to the table, and I don't care if one check is more than the other, we're working it out. Like we don't penny, I don't pocket watch like that. I don't, you know, we don't work that way. We are trying to support and take care of each other because we both realize that if I make your life easier and you make life my life easier, we're both gonna be happier, and that's what life is about.

SPEAKER_00 52:44

And I love how we do that, babe, because you know, Pamela and I, thank God we're in alignment with this, but we're the type of per we're the type of people that, you know, and obviously with me, you know, being in um, you know, New York and Pamela, yeah, you know, being here in Florida, um you know, obviously again, two different bills, two different households for now. For now, for now. But I love that Pamela and I, okay, it's like boom. We each we get paid, yeah, boom, we knock out our bills. We are very accountable and responsible. We don't horse around. We knock out our bills. Pamela knocks out her household bills. I knock out, you know, my household bills, and then it's like, okay, here's what we got. Okay, how are you rocking? What are we doing? Oh, okay, here's my card. Uh, okay, here's your card. Yeah, okay, do what you need to do. Oh, you need me to send you something? Okay, I'll send you this. Okay, uh-uh, put your card away. You know, Pamela and I, I don't care if it's a $4 drink at Starbucks. Yeah, Pamela and I always fight to pay for each other, and it makes people at the register, it makes them crack up and laugh because we're such givers. We want to take care of one another, whether it's $4, $400, or $4,000, here, here you go. You know what I'm saying? So we take care of business and we take care of each other. And and and another uh message or an encouragement, if you will, to the men, okay, fine. You're the head, you're the lead, you know, unga boonga. Okay, great, that's fine. But if you are the one that ultimately makes the decision or you're the last word on it, fine, no problem. But you are doing yourself a disservice if you do not incorporate the wisdom of your wife in every major decision that you make, whether it's what church you're going to, what automobile you're gonna buy, what house you're gonna buy, uh, what what vacation you're going on, unless it's a surprise. Um, you know, whatever major decision that you want to make, it ain't just about us no more, bruh. It's about our wife and it's about our family. And so you would behoove yourselves, we would behoove ourselves to have our wife's input in every major decision because sometimes we can see things in a straight line and they can see the traps and things that are around to help us all, you know, get to our goal. So, fellas, if we are the men and we are the head, the woman is the neck. And so the neck can't go unless it's let. But the head can't turn unless it's supported by the deck. You understand what I'm saying, y'all? And so I thank God that Pamela and I have that. Have we arrived? No. Are we still working on it? Yes, but one thing's for sure, I trust you with my whole entire life. My pocketbook, my health, my money, yeah, my thoughts, yeah, everything. Absolutely. And so you know me. I don't move, I do not move without you. Um, because we are a unit, you know, and as Run DMC said, y'all, it's like that. Yeah, and that's the way it is.

SPEAKER_02 56:10

Yeah, teamwork makes really the only way I can sum all that up is teamwork makes a change for us. And I I if anyone is looking for inspiration in that, I hope you guys are able to find inspiration in that. It but I will say one thing about that, you both have to be on the same accord, and you both have to be willing to have adult, hard, honest conversations in a respectful manner to get there. Yeah, that's pretty much the sum of that. That's cool. Okay, you're on the turn.

SPEAKER_00 56:36

My turn?

SPEAKER_02 56:36

Yeah, you're on question number three.

SPEAKER_00 56:37

We're on three. Okay, awesome. Um so this is a question, and you know me, I'm strategic in my personal.

SPEAKER_06 56:48

Of course.

SPEAKER_00 56:49

So this is this is one that kind of lends to vulnerability, you know, and gratitude.

SPEAKER_06 56:54

Oh, yeah, that should be interesting.

SPEAKER_00 56:56

Uh, you know, it's it's the little things, yes, you know, or the big things, but something that I've been thinking about for the past couple of weeks. Okay, because you know how I am when it comes to you.

SPEAKER_06 57:06

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 57:07

Uh, question number three. Uh, what is something I did or, and this is a great lead from what we just said, what is something I did or a way I supported you this past year that made you feel completely seen, honored, loved, even if I didn't realize it myself.

SPEAKER_02 57:31

Oh my gosh. Um, when you flew here for my birthday and surprised me. I I just needed it. Like I was feeling he can't, I I had no idea that he was coming. I I well, let me take that.

SPEAKER_04 57:47

Let me take that.

SPEAKER_02 57:48

You did have an idea that you were coming. My boy, he he's he snookered me. Uh y'all, he had me on the ropes. Cause I was like, I know I'm smart enough to know that. I was like, are you coming? Because he just was acting funny. You know how when your husband's your men start acting a little odd, like they're trying to plan something. And I was like, You I just feel like, but then he got me. He was like, no, babe, you know, I can't. We're trying to do this, this, and this. So I was like, that's true. And because we have like a lot of trips coming up, and I was like, okay, I get it, I get it. And I was, but I was just feeling kind of down anyway. Um, it just had been like a really stressful time with work and like family and stuff. And I don't know. I just I normally I'm a big birthday person, like I love birthdays, I believe in that because I mean, obviously it's a rotation around the sun, it's the day you were born, it's special. And I just wasn't feeling it. And so, like, I just was kind of sad, and I didn't know if he was picking in upon it because during that time too, you had just been like getting through your health stuff, you know, and like I had been really like stressed out with him in regards to his health, yeah, because he was going through, he was having to go to the emergency room all the time, and I was just like, God, I just need him to be okay. And I felt away because I couldn't be there. I'm just gonna be honest. I felt awake because I couldn't be there because I can't leave all the time, like I would like to leave. Like, you know, people don't realize, like in my situation, when I go to see him, it might be for three or four days. I think we're about to try the longest that I've been up there, yeah, about nine days because I'm going up there um at the end of the month. But normally I don't leave that long because my mom, she's cute, but she's she's a lot. And my younger sister is patient. And but I was like, patient's worthin', and I don't want that woman to be on the street. So I need to figure this out. But long story short, short story long, I was just kind of feeling it. And so when my friend Katie called me that day, she was a girl, I don't lock my keys out of the car and I need some help. And she was like, I'm at Publix, and we live like five minutes from each other. So I was like, sure, I'm working at home. Let me jump in the car, get up there, and I pull up and she's like, Oh yeah, I'm almost coming. And then he pulls up, he comes up and he's got flowers because he always brings me flowers, y'all, when I see him. And I just fell out and I just cried because it wasn't about you, it was the fact that you sacrificed, because I was like, again, we have a lot of trips coming up, and we really have to budget and stuff like that. And the fact that you did that and you you knew I needed you, and you came out.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:35

You're worth it, you're worth it because excuse me, you all. And that's the truth, the truth of the matter is um, you know, there were some kind, there were some things going on. My daughter, uh, you know, had some challenges with her automobile and in other areas, and so I sent a considerable amount of money. Oh God, that was the three-month thing. Yeah, I sent a considerable amount of money trying to help my daughter. And as far as liquidity, you know, I didn't have the tangible money uh to come down. And it looked like it really honest to goodness, look like I was gonna miss Pamela's birthday. And um, yeah, we're working on debt, and uh we were very uh uh uh uh uh vigilant and and and very uh you know diligent about you know us taking care of our debt, you know, that we have separately.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:01:35

Um and so we don't want to create anything more, but y'all talking to the men again, and this is for the women too, but there are some times where you got to chuck it and just say you just gotta make it happen. And so, yeah, I whipped out the credit card and I looked for the best airfare that I could find, and I just made the decision without thinking about it. You know, uh I would have preferred, as we all would have preferred to use what we have in our accounts, if you will, but I wasn't gonna bother our savings because we started a savings together. Yeah, and so and that was very important, and so I didn't kind of have it because of you know my daughter at the time, but we're talking about my wife's birthday, and so I turned it into a surprise, but I just made it happen. There are some times, men, where you just gotta just let it ride. And I was like, you know what? I'll pay this off. I'm not worried about it. I am that diligent to do it, but I went that thing out because I had to see my baby out. And there are times where you just gotta just do that, yeah, you know, yeah, and you are more than worth me doing that, and I could not miss your birthday, especially how you were feeling and the load that you were carrying. Um I I wrestled with it, y'all, for about 24 hours, but then I said, I'm doing this, and I booked a flight and I called our mutual friend and I said, Hey, I want to surprise Pam. Can you help me out? And I just I just made it out.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:18

Yeah. And that meant so much to me because it just lifted me up. It just felt so good. I needed it too. I yeah, I didn't need anything, I need him. Like, that's the one thing that I have discovered in this year is that I need you. Like, I knew I needed you. I'm going to marry you, so you know, I need you.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:41

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:42

But I I need your presence, I need your energy, I need your your warmth. It gives me peace. Like you, I'm home for you, you're home for me. And when we're apart, I don't feel like I'm at home.

unknown 1:03:58

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:58

And so I need home. And I needed home. It was just like I felt out of sorts, and when I hugged you, I felt instantly at peace.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:12

Me too. And when you touched me, I I felt a surge go through my body. And y'all pray for us.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:20

We gotta do this long distance thing for at least another year.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:23

Probably, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:24

Y'all pray for us.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:25

Yeah, it's not easy, but at the same time, I need her. I need him too. But at the same time, you know, I'm very grateful for it because I know that God's intention is greater than that. And during this time, he's giving us the ability to continue to strengthen and grow in our relationship. So there's benefits to it as well. Um, but it's not for the weak. And so I'm just I value every moment that we have together. That's why we please know. You're more than worth it. You're more than worth it as well. I love you. Love you more. Okay. So then my third question is.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:04

Oh, here we go.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:05

Okay. What's one way you're going to love yourself in year two?

SPEAKER_00 1:05:11

Oh, my health. My health. I want to be, you know, and of course you want to look good, man. You know, you want to impress folks, you know, you want to go to home. Pretty man. You want to go to your college homecoming, you want to get with your frat brothers, you want to, you know, do all of this stuff, and you want to look good for a myriad of reasons. But, you know, my health, um, I desire to turn into a rabbit wolverine, dogmatic freakazoy when it comes to my health, but for nobody else but myself.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:46

All right.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:47

Um, for the first time in my life in a long time, since God has brought her into my life, I want to live. And not just for you, but I want to live for me. Uh, I'm too good looking. I got it going on. I got too many gifts. I got too much to give to this world. I got too much that God wants me to do. And I can't be walking around here all decrepit, you know, and like I can't, you know, I'm just dragging booty. I can't, I can't be like that to do the things that God would have me to do that I desire to do for myself and that I desire to do for you. And so, you know, y'all pray for me, man. Y'all rally around me because, you know, I am a crazy man now when it comes to my health. It doesn't mean that I'm human. There are times I don't feel like going to the gym. There are times that I get, you know, extremely nervous about a certain thing, maybe on one of my uh tests, you know, routine tests. And there's some things that nothing to be alarmed about, you know, everybody, you know, so I don't want anybody to worry, but there are some areas of concern that's reversible and doable. Um, but you know, sometimes, you know, it can weigh on you, especially if you're having one of those days. But regardless of those feelings, uh, they're temporal and they're for the moment. Have them, go through each step, but you still got to hop in the saddle and you still got to drive and go forward. And so, if anything, baby, I just want uh for me uh to continue this drive and go forward mentality. And you see that I'm cutting a lot of things loose. I'm cutting, you know, and when I say I'm cutting things loose, it's not that people have done me wrong, but you know, I'm I'm I'm in such a focused mode. Um, I've got to get here, relocate here to be full-time with my wife. Um, I've got to do the things, you know, in our 50s. I want to grow old with her. I want to be 90 something years old, sitting on the porch, rocking in the chair, drinking sweet tea, you know, with with us being 90. And that is doable, you know, if we take charge of our health, of our mental, our physical, and our spiritual and our emotional. And I thank God that you are safety. I thank God that you're home. I thank God that you push me. Um, gentlemen, you need the type of woman that not only knows how to love you in the bedroom, but that can take you by your shirt collar and throw you up against the wall and shake you and say, Come on. And I thank God that I have that. Come on. If nothing else, for you. You need to do this for you. And so she's a constant cheerleader. And even though she wants it for her, she never makes it about her. She makes it about me because it starts with me. And so I'm thankful for that. But just my health, my wealth, my well-being, in every fiber, every facet of my being in existence, financially, health, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, purpose, destiny, what I'm supposed to do, everything. I I don't have the time anymore. I don't have the time to lollygag or drag booty. I've got to do this for me. And so, yeah, just the whatever it means to you, y'all, the total man is what I'm after. In God.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:45

And I respect that. And I'm I just want to say before we go on that I'm really proud of you.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:50

Thank you, baby. I'm very proud of how coming from you, that means everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:54

Well, thank you. I mean, I mean it. Like, I'm really proud of how consistent that you have been. I know that it's not easy. It's not, but I see your consistency, I see your hard work, and you should see it. Like, it's not about losing weight. Like, my husband's fine. I'm not sexy, so I'm not I'm gonna love it. I'm trying, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:13

I'm trying.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:14

But I think the fact that I see you out here pushing through when you don't feel your best and trying to, you know, get more into a routine and taking care of things of yourself first. That is so important to me because I think it's essential. And as women, we should be there supporting our partners, wanting them to be the best versions of ourselves because we want to be the best version of ourselves. Like, no offense, like he's not out here just working for him. Like, I'm because I know I want longevity. Like, like he said, we listened to it. Well, thank you. I appreciate that. So are you, but you know, God bless, it's it's the journey.

SPEAKER_00 1:10:54

Big backry is real and oh, yeah, big backy, the fight against big backyardry, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:58

The fight against big backyardry is because we like food. Like, I don't care what people don't don't don't mistake all the health conversations. We like a snack just like everybody else, but we do also make time to be active and to care for ourselves because we're trying to be around for like in our 70s, 80s, 90s. Beyond, I mean, we started this game late, right? We got married in our 50s, so we can't.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:22

Finally, we found love. We found God's love in each other.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:27

Now that we found love, uh-oh. I'm not about no to start slipping and be jacked up. I can't because I I owe it to myself, but I owe it to you to be the best version of yourself, and so I really proud of you.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:42

I'm very proud of you. I appreciate that question.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:45

Love you, kid.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:45

Love you, babe.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:46

All right, you're up. Oh, my turn. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:48

All right, y'all. Number four, we are almost in the home stretch.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:52

We are um well, I see that. I saw that look, y'all. You know, that's a good question.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:58

All right, so this is this is a fun question.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:01

Okay. Um love a quant question.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:05

What has been the biggest or most surprising joy about being married to me that you didn't necessarily expect before we talk to that?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:18

Ooh, because okay, y'all.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:26

My husband's a goof. My my my husband's a goofball. I don't care what nobody says. My husband's a goofball. And I'm gonna tell y'all something. Okay, when we were talking again, you know, before I think, yeah, this was even before um I told him how I was feeling about him. Because yes, I did tell him how I felt about him first. You know, that's a whole other conversation. Yeah, however, um one of the things that he did for me that helped kind of push it on top of it. One of the things, and he does this consistently is my husband sang for me um Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, not the not the Johnny Depp version, but the Gene Wilder. Thank you. He sang for me the Baruch Assault song for me, I want more by Baruch Assault, where then Baruca, you know, got sucked into the garbage disposal because I was sucky. So he sang that for me. I still have that file. If he ever gets out of line, it it may hit the streets. Um, however, well, I'm just playing. That's just for me in the vault. But he sang that for me. And my husband always does goofy things for me. He sends me like TikTok videos, and he's just got such a wicked sense of humor and is such a big Star Wars nerd. And we can like bond on all of this nerd out stuff, and I never knew that about him because you know he was trying to be cool, Jean-Bich, Debonair, you know, brother. I realized my husband's goofball. And it has been one of the the best joys of my life having that goofiness in our relationship because we will, I feel like, stay eternally young and be kids together. So, yes, that is your goofiness. I love that about you. Thank you. So, okay. What's one goal you have for us in year two?

SPEAKER_00 1:14:28

What's one goal I have for us?

SPEAKER_02 1:14:32

Yep. I know that's kind of a lot to ask.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:37

Okay, so no, well, you said just one. Yeah, just one.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:40

Not like that.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:42

We're not limited to just one, but you said just one boy. I got so much for us.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:49

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:50

Um obviously one we're already in, and that's the continued health. Um I would say a goal that I have for us is to roll up our sleeves and let into, you know, really, really get into the finances of each other's debt, okay, minimum payment, okay, uh, interest rate percentage. Yeah. Um have a plan.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:29

Because I know we're paying a bunch of different things, but what are we what what can we focus in one area a little bit more than the minimum and knock out something? I want to position us because um right now I have the one bedroom apartment. You have the three-bedroom townhome here. Uh, so when I get here, we're gonna need more space.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:56

We're gonna at least need four bedrooms, if not five.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:01

Um, what does it look like? You know, yeah. And I'm not gonna relocate here at least for another year. What does it look like in the next five years or less? Really, the next two to three years. Um, how are we going to be looking as far as our aspirations to get that home?

SPEAKER_06 1:16:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:25

Uh, we talked about a few things um with respect to your town home potentially being uh, you know, a value that can propel us.

SPEAKER_06 1:16:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:36

Um, you know, me never owning a home in Florida, so maybe I could take advantage of the first-time home buyer. God bless it. Hopefully that still would exist. Yeah. Um, so my goal, one of my many goals is to attack our finances and debt and to help position us into getting our home and manifesting what we've been talking about.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:02

Okay. Yeah, no, I'm totally in line with that. And that kind of goes back, like we were saying earlier, guys. Like it's it's hard to have everything mapped out. Like we know about each other's debt. So, but it's just like how do you it it's really tough? It's two separate lives merging into one. So, how do you work all of that into one? So, I agree it is something that we need to do and just try to. That's why we are trying to be hyper-vigilant about getting new debt because it's like, okay, we already both are bringing stuff to the table.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:34

We're not trying to add brand new because we don't we don't want to rush into anything, you guys, but we recognize at the tender age of 50 something, we've we've got to move. We gotta move, we gotta, we gotta work toward getting things done. Yeah, and you know, we gotta trust God along the way. But as we all know, faith without works is dead. You can't pray to God about getting your dream job, and you ain't willing to prepare for the interview, you ain't willing to groom yourself, you're not willing to do the research, you're not willing to send out your resume, you can't pray to God for a job to drop out the sky. You're not doing the works to align with your faith. Absolutely. So, you know, yeah, and so that's that's that's that's my goal. Okay. Um, one of my goals, you know, definitely another one. Uh, and I know this is just a bonus one. I got like we're gonna talk about things to dinner tonight. We can't talk about it. Okay, but another one is as you all know, um, you know, I'm a licensed ordained minister, and uh, you know, right now God is leading me, you know, on a different path. I'm gonna be relocating here soon. So, from a spiritual aspect, you all, what does that look like? What kind of church or ministry do I see myself and my wife in that can help us grow spiritually and get closer to God? Um, I do believe that there's a calling on my life. So, what does that look like? You know, am I to be a leader or a pastor one day? Uh, what does that look like? Or until such time, what ministry will we align ourselves with? Um, that is a major decision. That's up there with getting married, buying a home, buying a car, where you choose to worship is a major decision. And so, as the lead, uh, I want to really have my ear inclined to God and really be in tune with Him. So, that's just a bonus one, baby. So, our finances, our home dreams and goals, as well as our spiritual walk and me leading us, you know, in that covering for us and being in alignment with God.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:41

Of course.

SPEAKER_00 1:19:42

That's a bonus one.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:43

No, that's fine. And you know how I feel about the bonus one, because I I want him to take the walk that God is calling for him. I'm not afraid of being a first lady. Um, because luckily I my husband understands I am who I am.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:02

What's my rule?

SPEAKER_02 1:20:03

Yeah, if God doesn't empower me to change, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:06

You don't want to change. Do not change for me and nobody.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:10

Because y'all know, you know, the Lord is still working on me, He's working on us all. Oh, yeah, absolutely. All right, that's still working on me. I love, you know, I love Corinne Hawthorne, but I also love uh Megan the Stallion. So it's just it's a balance, it's a balance.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:25

I love Fred Hammond, but I love me some Jill Scott.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:28

Right. So we just work it out. Um, but I I support you, and I'm so glad because you know that has been one of the things that we've talked about a lot, like you coming closer to your walk. Because I feel like always telling God is talking to you, like God is waiting on you.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:45

Yeah, and so I'm just He's been dropping nuggets along the way, you guys, whether it's through a reputable man or woman of God, or whether I may clip something out of a TV show and be like, oh my God. Or you know, you might hear a line in a script, and and God or see something on social media, or just have a conversation with somebody, and then God drops nuggets along the way to remind you that you know, I haven't left you, neither have I forsaken you, neither have. And and and one thing that we we had the pleasure, one of my fraternity brothers, one of my line brothers that I flicked kappa with, he came in town to visit his love interest, and we had the opportunity to double date. And um, it was great to catch up with them and introduce, you know, my line brother and and my friend, who is his lady, you know, to uh Pamela. And and we just we we clicked and we had a great we double dated twice uh last week, and he told me something that was very encouraging. He said, you know, you may not be where you are, you may even play a role in your own delay. But the fact that God is dropping these nuggets is proof that you still have an ear for God, yeah, and he knows that, and that's why he's giving you these things to not only build you up and encourage you, but to lead you back into where he wants you to go. And that thing really, really blessed me. And I appreciated that because I believe you, baby, when you said everything starts with me. Well, it starts with God and then it's downloaded to me. Absolutely. Then I present it to you, and then we have to be in alignment um so that we're both in the will of God and we're both at our best for one another, and you know that's what I'm all about. Absolutely. It's all good.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:42

This is our conversation. Okay, so you're back.

SPEAKER_00 1:22:46

Home stretch. All right, y'all ready? All right, we're coming into home stretch number five. Yeah, okay. This is a little bit similar to your question. Okay, this is kind of like a future type of question, and so you know, forward thinking, forward moving as we conclude.

unknown 1:23:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:06

Um, you know, as we close out this chapter one. Yes, and step into year two what is a dream or a goal or an adventure that you're most excited for us to tackle next. Maybe kind of the similar shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:26

Yeah, very similar. And um I I have a goal and a dream.

unknown 1:23:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:23:34

Dream. I'm gonna do dream first because I'm dreaming of the soul. Always over goal and dream. Um, I definitely dream of us, you know, I guess working together in some way. Like um, you know, he and I have kind of talked about potting together something separate from here, but or doing something. And I would love to see that. But I feel like God, you know, is obviously kind of speaking in the sense that this may be a part of you know, your venture into ministry. And obviously, me being supportive and being a first lady to you. So that may be where the dream goes. But I I do see that there is an opportunity where you and I would work together to you know minister and encourage. I've never thought of myself as a minister, so she is, you guys.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:32

She is a minister. Don't let her fool you. But no, no, no, hear me out, hear me out before you jump. Before you jump, hear me out. But your ministry and your anointing is more on a practical level, yes, side of the four walls. Um, the reset experience, yeah, and those four components. Can you give them to me again?

SPEAKER_02 1:24:56

Yeah, mental health, physical health, financial health, and building community.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:00

And that's the total man and the total woman. And, you know, a lot of times, if you look at the organized church, I don't want to go here, I promise y'all, I'm getting off of this. When you look at the organized church, it has shifted to where culture and community, which we all need, is sometimes trapped within the four walls. And you can get too comfortable that you lose relatability or lose touch with what's going on outside of the four walls of the church, which is really the mission of ministry. And so, Pamela, maybe not your traditional preacher, evangelist, yada, yada, yada, yada. That's not, you know, if God wants her to do that, he'll set that up. But no doubt about it, God, Pam has such an anointing uh from God with respect to not only the experiences that God allowed her to go through to authenticate her, um, but her brilliance and her passion and her desire. Yeah, I'm talking about you, you know, outside the four walls of being a champion for women, number one, but really, you know, Pam is also there for the brothers as well. It's just that her primary, what God has her right now, her primary is a champion for women, especially black women, but all women. Um, and so that is ministry. Ministry is outside of the four walls. Ministry is letting your light so shine, you know, that men can glorify God and see your good works. And the works that you do is not in vain. And so I encourage you to not shortchange yourself or minimize yourself because it don't look like traditional church. That's not how God, that's not what God equipped you for. And so, you know, if we are to really win people to God, to Christ, um, and not be dogmatically institutionalized where, you know, we can't relate, you know, to what people, what people's needs are in this day and age, then we're falling short and we're just putting on a performance. And so I want to encourage you that you bout that life. Like you, you, you're about representing God, you're about um ministry and loving the people and uh loving women, being a champion for women, and that does not fall on deaf ears. And and and I need you to understand that it ain't the traditional church, but we're living in a 2026 world, and we can't live in a 2020 world world world world world. 26 world with a 1999 anointing. Anointing was for 1999. The problem that we have sometimes, and I'm leaving this alone, y'all, is that we're trying to do things with our old mentality. And so you are like a right now minister. You understand things politically, you understand things medically, you understand things legally, you understand things financially, you understand things health-wise. And so the Bible says first comes the natural, then the spiritual. And so you're an earthly good kind of guy. And so that's what y'all. I'm preaching, and I'm sorry. I love this woman and I believe in her and I believe the God that's in her.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:54

And see, that's what I'm talking about. I believe the God that's in him. And that's where me like, you know, it's time for you to take the limits off of your vision and just know that you're supported.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:07

Amen to that. I love you. I feel it. I know it.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:09

And I trust you.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:10

Um I love you so much.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:13

I love you so much. Thank you. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:16

Question five? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:18

Oh boy.

SPEAKER_00 1:29:19

Last one, here we go.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:20

And I had to do it because this is just nature. Um, if you had to choose one song that describes our first year of marriage, what would it be and why? Music is a big thing for us while he's thinking about this. Like we love music. It has been the foundation, but we courted because we court over here at these mature streets. Music really was a big part. Like we would sit up and play Janae Eiko and give uh Giveon and Yebba and PJ Morton, like all these Alex Isley, like the foundation of our love and connection is built on music and questions of conversation. So I had to end it this way. And my husband is like a music in person. Moon child. Yes, like we are music people. So yes, this is how you're gonna end that.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:17

This is so hard, y'all. I know, because you know, I don't want to go to LTD. Oh, I don't want to go to that one. Yeah, that's that's that's our song. Yes, that is um Love Ballad. Love Ballad, you know, is my song, and I I was gonna pick that, but that would have been the common one. But um, not common, I don't want to minimize it. Yeah, um I love it.

SPEAKER_07 1:30:47

I just dumped him.

SPEAKER_00 1:30:49

Yeah, you did. Um I know, right, I know, right.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:06

No, I'm sorry, y'all.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:07

This is the part I'm breaking up the flow now.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:09

We got a nice flowing by thought about that.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:11

It's uh you're good.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:18

Y'all know I am secretly loving every moment of this. Not even really secretly, uh, that you guys are hearing me say how much I really appreciate stumping my husband like this. Yeah, yeah, because this man could pull out a song and be like, I have never heard this song before.

SPEAKER_01 1:31:34

It's so good.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:35

His taste is impeccable. It reminds me of my dad. That's one of the other reasons why I fell in love with him. Because my father always used to introduce us to music. Like we grew up listening to Stevie Wonder and Barry White and um Hugh Masticela and Miles Davis. Like there was constantly records and eight-tracks and music around us. So having him, it and when I found out that aspect of you, it made me also feel like my poppy was giving you his blessing because he gave me someone he knew would be able to feed that side of me. So that's another thing. That's another little nugget. Why I love you.

unknown 1:32:22

I know.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:22

I hope that's not adding more pressure.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:24

Oh no, I I don't want this to be a cop out, but it's so hard. Because, you know, a lot of people will pick this particular song, but this song, I haven't necessarily played for Pamela a lot. I played a lot of songs for her. I sang a lot of songs to her.

SPEAKER_06 1:32:41

Yes, you did.

SPEAKER_00 1:32:42

Yeah, but when I think about the totality of when we met in college when we were 19, um, and we couldn't get it together, there were some fears, you know, on both sides. Um and but you know that the magic is there, you know that the love is there, but initially in the beginning, you're you know, you're you're you're intimidated or you're afraid of it or you don't understand it. And then as the years go on, that person has always stayed in your heart. And even if you dated other people, you know, or for me, you know, Pamela is not my first marriage. And so, you know, you married other people and you put your best foot forward, but you still just couldn't get who was really supposed to be in your life out of your heart and into evolve to where we are now. Uh, as cliche as this may sound, I have got to go saying all of that. Having said all of that, I've got to go with um music soul child's love.

SPEAKER_02 1:33:51

Ooh, I love that song.

SPEAKER_00 1:33:53

I've got to go with it. Um, you know, love. There's so many things that I could tell you, but I'm afraid I don't know how. That's when I was 19. Yes, you know, and then later on in the song, there's no doubt, there's no fear, there's no question, that is where I am now. So the totality of music Soul Child's Love, and if you really listen to the lyrics, he's telling a story of how uh he had trepidate the song talks about trepidation, yeah, but I I I'm nervous, and then as he goes through the song and he builds up, he shifts into a confidence about the love that he's receiving and the love that he wants to give. So it will be music cell jobs.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:40

That is beautiful. That is so beautiful. It's funny because now that I I asked that question, I really feel like um, I I I have a few songs. Okay, but if I were to look at I'm getting a bonus, the first yes, because I would I feel like since you gave me yours, let me give you mine really quick.

SPEAKER_06 1:35:04

Awesome.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:07

It would truly be uh hand the hands to heaven, but it's not the full the hands to heaven song by Beyonce, the first year, would definitely be that, but it's the it's the bridge that everybody loves. I've been waiting my whole life for this, like, and I'm gonna give you the best years of my life. And to be at this point in my 50s, to have this beautiful love. I'm going to give you everything I've got. When I married you, I told you it was until my last breath. I'm always telling him that he's got my last breath, and then I'm going to come back to life in my next life and give that back to you again. Because it's I've never felt this way. I've never been so loved, so seen, so valued, so cared for, so thought of, so considered. So your love makes me want to give you everything I've got. And I am grateful for that. You got it all. Got it all. And so, yeah, that it would be that. There are so many other songs. Um, and when I post on social media about him, I think about those.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:22

Like you I don't know how I follow that up.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:24

Yeah, like Mali music and Jasmine Silvine and um love, love and beautiful. It's just but that piece, that bridge in that song, Hands to Heaven, is so true because it's like I've been waiting. I have literally, this is my first and only marriage.

SPEAKER_00 1:36:40

Amen to that.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:41

This is my first and only marriage. I have been waiting my entire life to have this type of love.

unknown 1:36:48

Amen.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:49

And I am so grateful that I believe now. So that's our song to me. So that's our song. So you did it. How do you feel?

SPEAKER_00 1:36:57

This is uh you feel like yeah, I'm about to give you my whole wallet.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:01

You're gonna give me whole wallet, spin that money. I am so driving him crazy, y'all. We got Miami Spin That is on his lap. But I love it, I love it. But no, I'm just playing. Um, but I want to thank you for sitting down and having this conversation with me. I want to thank you for a beautiful year.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:22

Thank you, babe.

SPEAKER_02 1:37:23

I look forward to another beautiful year and then another, and then another.

SPEAKER_00 1:37:27

I'm honored. I I look forward to you know being a guest again when whenever you feel like having me. And uh something you said earlier as far as working together. I pray that maybe this is a foundational springboard for maybe something you and I can do. Um, but it is an honor uh to be with you, to be your husband. It's been an honor to be on the Well Done Life podcast, y'all. This is a Jumanji level for me. I feel like I've gotten my master's degree by being on this platform today. And um uh you are you are just your God's joy uh for me. And uh I know that I have finally gotten this right. Uh now I did not make this decision haphazardly. Um really toiled, you know, with God. I always knew. But uh I needed God to really show me me and show me you and the equation. And so you are a blessing, you are a joy. Uh I cannot do this life without you. Uh life would suck without you. And so I thank you for your love. I thank you for your support. Um, I thank you for your honor. You are you just you know how to love me. You know how to love me good, and I'm not giving that up for anybody.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:00

Absolutely not. You know, we end this. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:06

I I can keep going on and on. I know we gotta wrap it up.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:09

But you know my motto, we end this until the wheels fall off.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:12

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:12

And and then we're gonna put the wheels back on and ride again. That's right. So thank you so much for having me on.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:18

I love y'all. Thank you so much. Uh, I honor you all. Thank you. Thank you for uh rocking with my sweetheart.

SPEAKER_01 1:39:25

Thank you for rocking with my sweetheart.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:26

You know, I hope I pray that I that we have blessed you have some way to this podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:32

So we're sending you so much love and prayers on the journey, and thank you for entertaining our conversation. And baby, I can't wait to look at this a year from now and see what we accomplish.

SPEAKER_00 1:39:44

I can't wait to look at this tomorrow. Or whenever it goes out again.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:48

It will go live on Sunday tomorrow. Since we're recording this on Friday, July 3rd, it is 412 now. Um, so it'll go live on Sunday since tomorrow's the 4th of July. We hope that everyone is safe and has a wonderful time with their family and friends and take care. And thank you for being letting us have our conversation, our love on display. And we appreciate you and love you, and we are sending you all so much love. I'm gonna have all of my all of my social information, including Harry's, in there as well. Um, so that way if you want to follow us and learn more about us, hopefully we can inspire you on the journey because we try to be re we usually be positive people with a really good sense of humor too. So we can be really entertaining sources for you, and we pray that you are surrounded in love and everything that you do. So thank you for all of it. Take care, and we will talk again soon. Bye bye y'all.

SPEAKER_01 1:40:43

Bye y'all, uh,